I have an offer to make for you.  You’ll be permitted to go outside occasionally, but (1) you have to ask permission and (b) you have to stay within the perimeter of my property.  Occasionally, I will play games or snuggle up with you.  I’ll probably force you to wear a collar, and I’ll ask that you do a few simple tasks on command.  In exchange, I’ll feed you and keep you warm, and you’ll have free run of my house.  Except for the collar, the simple tasks and the limit of staying on my property, you’ll be free to whatever you like.  I may not even make the property restriction.  If I travel, I will put you in a nice hotel where other similar folk are staying.  Sound like a deal?  It’s a dog’s–or any pet’s, really–life.

Some centuries ago, this phrase–“It’s a dog’s life.”–came into popular use.  Back then, our domesticated best friend did not have the most pleasant existence.  Most were working animals, used as hunting or farming aids.  Very few were treated well, so this phrase and similar ones were used to express an unhappy life.

This isn’t the case anymore.  The phrase is slowly turning to mean a good life, and with reason.  We pamper our pets.  The feline residents of my home don’t even wear a collar, and haven’t for quite some time.  They are strictly indoor kitties, and there simply isn’t a need for it.  (I might collar my new kitten until her desire to escape the house fades a bit.)  Sure, when applied to humans it sounds like slavery, but what if it was adapted a little?

Let’s change the offer I made a bit.  No collar, and you have the freedom to come and go as you please.  Many dogs have a doggy door, after all, and more than a few can roam outside their yard.  You can do whatever you like so long as we occasionally play games and snuggle.  You would have to do a few things on demand, but they would all be simple tricks.  Some minor feats of dexterity like juggling or something.  Nothing serious, nothing naughty, just cute little tricks.  It’s not really sounding too bad now, is it?

I wonder how many people would accept an offer like this.  It would be slavery–no two ways about it–but it would still be a comfortable existence so long as it stayed within the parameters above.  No manual labor, just a few dextrous feats, some games and some snuggling.  (Even working animals usually cuddle with their masters at some point.)

So a dog’s life isn’t what it used to be.  This is how language evolves, I guess, just like everything else:  It adapts to changes in circumstances.  I confess, I would be more inclined to be a cat, a more independent pet, but living a pet’s life might be nice to try for awhile.

I don’t see anyone making this offer to me, though.  Ah, well, on with human existence.  See you tomorrow.